A son asked his father(a programmer) why the sun rises in the east, and sets in the west. His response? It works, don't touch!

It compiles! Let's ship it.

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.
There are 10 kinds of people in the world: Those that know binary & those that don't

The new (insert current fast processor, but when I heard it, the value was "cray") is so fast, it can execute an infinite loop in only 3 seconds.

A biologist, an engineer, and a mathematician are staking out an empty house.

They see two people walk in.

Later, they see three people walk out.

The biologist says, "They must have multiplied!"

The engineer says, "I think it was measurement error."

The mathematician says, "Now, if exactly one person walks into the house, it will have zero people in it again